The Unexpected Phonecall

 On Sunday morning I received a phonecall I never thought I'd receive. Being as tired as I was, I didn't pick up the first time because I told myself I'd call the person back later as it was too early to pick up the phone. When I finally picked up the phone, I heard some of the most painful words I've ever heard, "- has passed away." Upon hearing this, I went from being exhausted to being alert and in massive shock.

Death. A concept that human beings have failed to comprehend and tried to get rid of for centuries through science, technology and modern medicine. The concept or the process is so dreadful that it has caused some people to develop Thanatophobia (fear of death); I being one of those people. I assume that the fear stems from the fact that we don't know what happens when we die. Is it a path into nothingness as if someone never lived? Is there an afterlife? Is there a heaven or a hell? Well, if you're religious then your faith probably has an answer for this.

I've had close family members pass away but maybe I was too young to fathom or wrap my head around their death hence this death affecting me differently. I had known her for two years and built a very close friendship with her. I sat down in my room and tried to understand how something like that could happen when I was literally with this person the previous week. We laughed, we spoke and even when the person told me she wasn't too well, I advised her to go to the hospital and told her she would be fine and recover as she always has. We shared a few more light moments and departed with a hug. Little did I know that that was the last time I'd see her. 

The pain echoed within my being all day till I broke in a way I never thought I would. Listening to someone's voice notes and your last conversation with them on WhatsApp just amplified the pain. I couldn't believe it. Speaking to other people who she was close to was another hard thing because we exchanged the moments we had with her and expressed our pain. 

I don't write this as a way to be vulnerable with you, the reader. I write this to tell you that it's hard. You can't forget about it. The pain doesn't go. I write this to tell you that there is a way it becomes easier to bear. I found that the more I reminisced about the good times I shared with this person and the times I've seen this person happy, it eased my mind and heart. I choose to remember her at her best and smile and laugh about it. I choose to remember how this person was there for me when I needed her. I choose to remember her for her drive and persistence in everything that she did. 

Dear reader, if you've lost someone close to you, choose to remember them at their best and the good times you shared. It makes you smile more and appreciate their life. The pain won't go but it will be at ease. If you are religious, believe that they're in a better place looking over you. 

In memory of Wambi Mulenga,

15/10/97- 11/10/2020

Fly High❤️